Journal Entry
#40
9 November 2007
Chapter 20
Page 268 paragraph 11-12
Quote:
"'I hear you're leaving us.' I fell into step beside Valerie in the little, nursesupervised group. 'Only if the doctors say yes. I have my interview tomorrow.'"
Finally after so long of Esther being crazy she has started to show improvement. Esther has just needed someone to love and care for her. That is just what Dr. Nolan has been doing, she is like Esther's first true friend, and role model. All Esther really needed was love and guidance for her to make it in the world, and she found it in one of the least likely places.
Friday, November 9, 2007
The Bell Jar: Chapter 20
Journal Entry
#39
9 November 2007
Chapter 20
Page 265 Paragraph 1-2
Quote:
"Everybody would know about me, of course. Doctor Nolan had said, quite bluntly, that a lot of people would treat me gingerly, or even avoid me, like a leper with a warning bell."
When you are a crazy person and you go to an asylum, people are going to treat you differently when you go back into the real world. They are going to treat you differently because you were crazy. Would you treat a crazy person normally? I would try, but I'm sure it wouldn't work very well.
#39
9 November 2007
Chapter 20
Page 265 Paragraph 1-2
Quote:
"Everybody would know about me, of course. Doctor Nolan had said, quite bluntly, that a lot of people would treat me gingerly, or even avoid me, like a leper with a warning bell."
When you are a crazy person and you go to an asylum, people are going to treat you differently when you go back into the real world. They are going to treat you differently because you were crazy. Would you treat a crazy person normally? I would try, but I'm sure it wouldn't work very well.
The Bell Jar: Chapter 19
Journal Entry
#38
9 November 2007
Chapter 19
Page 255 Paragraph 9
Quote:
"After a while Irwin got up and went into the bathroom, and I heard the rushing shower water. I wasn't sure if Irwin had done what he planned to do, or if my virginity had obstructed him in some way."
Esther seems to know nothing of sex, and that I'm sure is a good thing. The only problem is that she acts totally stupid throught the whole prossess. She wanted to 'do it' with Irwin, but then she has second thought. I think she wants to be different but at the same time be normal. She wants to have sex because she's not supposed to, but then maybe doesn't really want to . She should have just stayed a virgin.
#38
9 November 2007
Chapter 19
Page 255 Paragraph 9
Quote:
"After a while Irwin got up and went into the bathroom, and I heard the rushing shower water. I wasn't sure if Irwin had done what he planned to do, or if my virginity had obstructed him in some way."
Esther seems to know nothing of sex, and that I'm sure is a good thing. The only problem is that she acts totally stupid throught the whole prossess. She wanted to 'do it' with Irwin, but then she has second thought. I think she wants to be different but at the same time be normal. She wants to have sex because she's not supposed to, but then maybe doesn't really want to . She should have just stayed a virgin.
The Bell Jar: Chapter 19
Journal Entry
#37
9 NOvember 2007
Chapter 19
Page 252 Paragraph 6
Quote:
"I was about to say, 'Back to the asylum,' but the man looked promissing, so I changed my mind. 'Home.'"
Esther just can't seem to get the thought of having sex whenever she encounters a guy. She's like Holden in The Catcher in the Rye, she wants to, but when it comes right down to it, she doesn't. I think she's trying to lead her own life, but she is just digging herself in a deeper pit.
#37
9 NOvember 2007
Chapter 19
Page 252 Paragraph 6
Quote:
"I was about to say, 'Back to the asylum,' but the man looked promissing, so I changed my mind. 'Home.'"
Esther just can't seem to get the thought of having sex whenever she encounters a guy. She's like Holden in The Catcher in the Rye, she wants to, but when it comes right down to it, she doesn't. I think she's trying to lead her own life, but she is just digging herself in a deeper pit.
The Bell Jar: Chapter 18
Journal Entry
#36
9 November 2007
Chapter 18
Page 243 Paragraph 9
Quote:
"...at Belsize, the doors had locks, but the patients had no keys. A shut door meant privacy, and was respected, like a locked door. One knowcked, and knocked again, then went away."
This shows that the people respect each other. They may be crazy people, but they have more respect for each other than we do. I mean some people will knock, but others won't. Respect is something that we all need to learn.
#36
9 November 2007
Chapter 18
Page 243 Paragraph 9
Quote:
"...at Belsize, the doors had locks, but the patients had no keys. A shut door meant privacy, and was respected, like a locked door. One knowcked, and knocked again, then went away."
This shows that the people respect each other. They may be crazy people, but they have more respect for each other than we do. I mean some people will knock, but others won't. Respect is something that we all need to learn.
The Bell Jar: Chapter 18
Journal Entry
#35
9 November 2007
Chapter 18
Page 241 Paragraph 7
Quote:
"I thought how sad it was Joan looked so horsey, with such big teeth and eyes like two gray, goggly pebbles. Why, she couldn't even keep a boy like Buddy Willard. And DeeDee's husband was obviously living with some mistress or other and turning her sour as an old fusty cat."
Esther is starting to compare people to herself. She wants to be better than Joan because that is what she's always wanted to do. She thinks that it is funny that all these women can't get men, or can't keep them satisfied. Esther wants women to be like her.
#35
9 November 2007
Chapter 18
Page 241 Paragraph 7
Quote:
"I thought how sad it was Joan looked so horsey, with such big teeth and eyes like two gray, goggly pebbles. Why, she couldn't even keep a boy like Buddy Willard. And DeeDee's husband was obviously living with some mistress or other and turning her sour as an old fusty cat."
Esther is starting to compare people to herself. She wants to be better than Joan because that is what she's always wanted to do. She thinks that it is funny that all these women can't get men, or can't keep them satisfied. Esther wants women to be like her.
The Bell Jar: Chapter 17
Journal Entry
#34
9 NOvember 2007
Chapter 17
Page 230 Paragraph 6
Quote:
"Draping my blanket loosely around my shoulders, like a stole, I wandered down the hall toward the light and the gay noise."
She seems to look like a ghost going toward the light. Esther is in the blanket, that usually makes people look like ghosts, and the gay noise is the light. She wants to be part of it, but the blanket is also shealding her from the light, so she can back away when things get too serious.
#34
9 NOvember 2007
Chapter 17
Page 230 Paragraph 6
Quote:
"Draping my blanket loosely around my shoulders, like a stole, I wandered down the hall toward the light and the gay noise."
She seems to look like a ghost going toward the light. Esther is in the blanket, that usually makes people look like ghosts, and the gay noise is the light. She wants to be part of it, but the blanket is also shealding her from the light, so she can back away when things get too serious.
The Bell Jar: Chapter 17
Journal Entry
#33
9 November 2007
Chapter 17
Page 228 Paragraph 9
Quote:
"After the nurse left, I tried to puzzle out this new move on Doctor Nolan's part. What was she trying to prove? I hadn't changed. Nothing had changed. And Belsize was the best house of all. From Belsize people went back to work and back to school and back to their homes."
Doctor Nolan wants Esther to get better. She knows that Esther need encouragement to get there though, so she tells her she is getting better. Esther doesn't feel like she is getting better though. Esther thinks she is the same. Maybe that is because she can't see herself improve.
#33
9 November 2007
Chapter 17
Page 228 Paragraph 9
Quote:
"After the nurse left, I tried to puzzle out this new move on Doctor Nolan's part. What was she trying to prove? I hadn't changed. Nothing had changed. And Belsize was the best house of all. From Belsize people went back to work and back to school and back to their homes."
Doctor Nolan wants Esther to get better. She knows that Esther need encouragement to get there though, so she tells her she is getting better. Esther doesn't feel like she is getting better though. Esther thinks she is the same. Maybe that is because she can't see herself improve.
The Bell Jar: Chapter 16
Journal Entry
#32
9 November 2007
Chapter 16
Page 226 Paragraph 4-6
Quote:
"That afternoon my mother had brought me the roses. 'Save them for my funeral,' I'd said. My mother's face puckered, and she looked ready to cry."
Esther's mother wants her to get better. Either her mother wants her to get better because she cares about Esther, she doesn't like spending this kind of money on Esther, or she doesn't think that this looks very good in the social circle. I think that Esthers mother does care about her, but her mother wants to get Esther ready for the real world and it's hardships, so she just isn't able to show her love very well.
#32
9 November 2007
Chapter 16
Page 226 Paragraph 4-6
Quote:
"That afternoon my mother had brought me the roses. 'Save them for my funeral,' I'd said. My mother's face puckered, and she looked ready to cry."
Esther's mother wants her to get better. Either her mother wants her to get better because she cares about Esther, she doesn't like spending this kind of money on Esther, or she doesn't think that this looks very good in the social circle. I think that Esthers mother does care about her, but her mother wants to get Esther ready for the real world and it's hardships, so she just isn't able to show her love very well.
The Bell Jar: Chapter 16
Journal Enty
#31
9 November 2007
Chapter 16
Page 222 Paragraph 4-6
Quote:
"I laid the clippings on the white spread of the bed. 'You keep them,' Joan said. 'You ought to stick them in a scrapbook.' I folded the clippings and slipped them in my pocket."
The taking of the articles means that Esther is accepting that she is crazy. She will always remember her lesson because she put the articles in her pocket to keep safe. Esther sees that Joan is crazy, but getting better, and realizes that she too can get better is she really tries and wants to. I think Esther will make a turn about and get better, and get herself out of the asylum.
#31
9 November 2007
Chapter 16
Page 222 Paragraph 4-6
Quote:
"I laid the clippings on the white spread of the bed. 'You keep them,' Joan said. 'You ought to stick them in a scrapbook.' I folded the clippings and slipped them in my pocket."
The taking of the articles means that Esther is accepting that she is crazy. She will always remember her lesson because she put the articles in her pocket to keep safe. Esther sees that Joan is crazy, but getting better, and realizes that she too can get better is she really tries and wants to. I think Esther will make a turn about and get better, and get herself out of the asylum.
The Bell Jar: Chapter 15
Journal Entry
#30
9 November 2007
Chaper 15
Page 211 Paragraph 5
Quote:
"...I liked the smell of smoke. I thought if Doctor Nolan smoked, she might stay longer. This was the first time she had come to talk with me. When she left I would simply lapse into the old blankness."
Esther wants someone to care about her and love her. The only person that she's really felt this connection with though is Dr. Nolan. Esther wants to make Nolan as happy as possible so that she will keep coming back because Esther is easy going. Esther wants to have a friend that sticks around.
#30
9 November 2007
Chaper 15
Page 211 Paragraph 5
Quote:
"...I liked the smell of smoke. I thought if Doctor Nolan smoked, she might stay longer. This was the first time she had come to talk with me. When she left I would simply lapse into the old blankness."
Esther wants someone to care about her and love her. The only person that she's really felt this connection with though is Dr. Nolan. Esther wants to make Nolan as happy as possible so that she will keep coming back because Esther is easy going. Esther wants to have a friend that sticks around.
The Bell Jar: Chapter 15
Journal Entry
#29
9 November 2007
Chapter 15
Page 207 Paragraph 1
Quote:
"I wasn't quite sure why Mrs. Guinea had turned up. All I knew was that she had interested herself in my case and that at one time, at the peak of her career, she had been in an asylum as well."
When you are a specialist, usually it helps to have personal experience. What better way to have personal experience than to experience it yourself. I would rather have someone that had gone through what I had, than someone who had learned about it from a book.
#29
9 November 2007
Chapter 15
Page 207 Paragraph 1
Quote:
"I wasn't quite sure why Mrs. Guinea had turned up. All I knew was that she had interested herself in my case and that at one time, at the peak of her career, she had been in an asylum as well."
When you are a specialist, usually it helps to have personal experience. What better way to have personal experience than to experience it yourself. I would rather have someone that had gone through what I had, than someone who had learned about it from a book.
The Bell Jar: Chapter 14
Journal Entry
#28
9 November 2007
Chapter 14
Page 197 Paragraph 1-3
Quote:
"'What's the matter with you?' I turned her my full face, with the bulging purple and green eye. 'I tried to kill myself.' The woman stared at me. Then, hastily, she snatched up a movie magazine from her bed table and pretended to be reading."
People don't like to talk to suicidal people because they may try to harm you. I would feel a little different if someone told me they tried to kill themselves, because you don't know if they crazy or nice, but just had some problems. Though it is very rude to just stop a conversation and start reading something. they do that becuase they think they are higher up on the social ladder than suicidal people.
#28
9 November 2007
Chapter 14
Page 197 Paragraph 1-3
Quote:
"'What's the matter with you?' I turned her my full face, with the bulging purple and green eye. 'I tried to kill myself.' The woman stared at me. Then, hastily, she snatched up a movie magazine from her bed table and pretended to be reading."
People don't like to talk to suicidal people because they may try to harm you. I would feel a little different if someone told me they tried to kill themselves, because you don't know if they crazy or nice, but just had some problems. Though it is very rude to just stop a conversation and start reading something. they do that becuase they think they are higher up on the social ladder than suicidal people.
The Bell Jar: Chapter 14
Journal Entry
#27
9 November 2007
Page 191 Paragraph 10-11
Quote:
"'I can't see,' I said. A cheery voice spoke out of the dark. 'There are lots of blind people in the world. You'll marry a nice blind man someday.'"
The people are always focusing on people getting married. There is a life outside of marriage I hope they know. The people think Esther is concerned about herself not seeing because is will effect who she will marry, so the people tell her it will be okay. Really Esther is worried about her sight because she won't be able to see the beautiful world and what it looks like.
#27
9 November 2007
Page 191 Paragraph 10-11
Quote:
"'I can't see,' I said. A cheery voice spoke out of the dark. 'There are lots of blind people in the world. You'll marry a nice blind man someday.'"
The people are always focusing on people getting married. There is a life outside of marriage I hope they know. The people think Esther is concerned about herself not seeing because is will effect who she will marry, so the people tell her it will be okay. Really Esther is worried about her sight because she won't be able to see the beautiful world and what it looks like.
The Bell Jar: Chapter 13
Journal Entry
#26
9 November 2007
Chapter 13
Page 177 Paragraph 1
Quote:
"That morning I tried to hang myself."
This is the first attempt of suicide. Why does Esther not value her life as highly as she used to? If she killed herself, all her mothers money that was spent on her would go to waste. The full ride college fund would also go to waste. All that knowledge she gained would be worthless because she had died. If she killed herself the things people had done for her and what she had done for herself would have been for nothing.
#26
9 November 2007
Chapter 13
Page 177 Paragraph 1
Quote:
"That morning I tried to hang myself."
This is the first attempt of suicide. Why does Esther not value her life as highly as she used to? If she killed herself, all her mothers money that was spent on her would go to waste. The full ride college fund would also go to waste. All that knowledge she gained would be worthless because she had died. If she killed herself the things people had done for her and what she had done for herself would have been for nothing.
The Bell Jar: Chapter 13
Journal Entry
#25
9 November 2007
Chapter 13
Page 173 Paragraph 5
Quote:
"The only reason I remembered this play was because it had a mad person in it, and everything I had ever read about mad people stuck in my mind, while everything else flew out."
This is the beginning of when I realize that Esther is crazy. The only plays that she is interested in are the ones with crazy people. She only likes those plays because she can relate to them. The people are just like her and make her feel normal and special.
#25
9 November 2007
Chapter 13
Page 173 Paragraph 5
Quote:
"The only reason I remembered this play was because it had a mad person in it, and everything I had ever read about mad people stuck in my mind, while everything else flew out."
This is the beginning of when I realize that Esther is crazy. The only plays that she is interested in are the ones with crazy people. She only likes those plays because she can relate to them. The people are just like her and make her feel normal and special.
The Bell Jar: Chapter 12
Journal Entry
#24
9 November 2007
Chapter 12
Page 163 Paragaph 6-8
Quote:
"My mother smiled. 'I knew my baby wasn't like that.' I looked at her. 'Like what?' 'Like those awful people. Those awful dead people at the hospital.' She paused. 'I knew you'd decide to be all right again.'"
Esther's mother does not want Esther to be crazy. Esther's mother likes things in a nutshell. She doesn't like anything out of the normal, it makes her feel unsecure. Esther's mother is a woman, and acts like a typical woman. She wants everything to be a story tale, but it's not.
#24
9 November 2007
Chapter 12
Page 163 Paragaph 6-8
Quote:
"My mother smiled. 'I knew my baby wasn't like that.' I looked at her. 'Like what?' 'Like those awful people. Those awful dead people at the hospital.' She paused. 'I knew you'd decide to be all right again.'"
Esther's mother does not want Esther to be crazy. Esther's mother likes things in a nutshell. She doesn't like anything out of the normal, it makes her feel unsecure. Esther's mother is a woman, and acts like a typical woman. She wants everything to be a story tale, but it's not.
The Bell Jar: Chapter 12
Journal Entry
#23
9 November 2007
Chapter 12
Page 158 Paragraph 7
Quote:
"A gray-faced mand was counting our a deck of cards, one, two, three, four.... I thought he must be seeing if it was a full pack, but when he had finished counting, he started over again. Next to him, a fat lady played with a string of wooden beads. She drew all the beads up to one end of the sting. Then click, click, click, she let them fall back on each other."
Esther notices lots of stuff, that I would never notice. Things get on her nerves that none of us would ever see or hear. Esther hasn't been around crazy people or different people, so she doesn't know what to expect. Esther has been sheltered all her life like everyone else in society. They put the crazy people in an asylum, so the world won't have to deal with them.
#23
9 November 2007
Chapter 12
Page 158 Paragraph 7
Quote:
"A gray-faced mand was counting our a deck of cards, one, two, three, four.... I thought he must be seeing if it was a full pack, but when he had finished counting, he started over again. Next to him, a fat lady played with a string of wooden beads. She drew all the beads up to one end of the sting. Then click, click, click, she let them fall back on each other."
Esther notices lots of stuff, that I would never notice. Things get on her nerves that none of us would ever see or hear. Esther hasn't been around crazy people or different people, so she doesn't know what to expect. Esther has been sheltered all her life like everyone else in society. They put the crazy people in an asylum, so the world won't have to deal with them.
The Bell Jar: Chapter 11
Journal Entry
#22
9 November 2007
Chapter 11
Page 144 Paragraph 1-2
Quote:
"Doctor Gordon's features were so perfect he was almost pretty. I hated him the minute I walked in through the door."
Esther doesn't like perfect people. Perfect people aren't like her, and she likes people to have mistakes. Well everyone does have mistakes, but sometimes at first sight they don't . I'm sure on the inside and once you got to know the doctor you would figure out he has lots of problems. I mean seriously, he's working in a mental hospital, that's got to be trying at times.
#22
9 November 2007
Chapter 11
Page 144 Paragraph 1-2
Quote:
"Doctor Gordon's features were so perfect he was almost pretty. I hated him the minute I walked in through the door."
Esther doesn't like perfect people. Perfect people aren't like her, and she likes people to have mistakes. Well everyone does have mistakes, but sometimes at first sight they don't . I'm sure on the inside and once you got to know the doctor you would figure out he has lots of problems. I mean seriously, he's working in a mental hospital, that's got to be trying at times.
Thursday, November 8, 2007
The Bell Jar: Chapter 11
Journal Enrty
#21
8 November 2007
Chapter 11
Page 134 Paragraph 2
Quote:
"I counted out three hundred and fifty sheets of corrasable boushes amd woolen. From another distance, I fed the the first. A feeling of tenderness filled my heart. My heroine would be myself, only in discise. I counted the letters 6 letters."
People have alot of the same kind of stuff, like Conney has a bog bowl of stuff that only a dand ful of people can see because you
re working on it. You can't alway s be a princess or queen when ever you feel like it, it sis more like your obligated to vote for Jayme.
#21
8 November 2007
Chapter 11
Page 134 Paragraph 2
Quote:
"I counted out three hundred and fifty sheets of corrasable boushes amd woolen. From another distance, I fed the the first. A feeling of tenderness filled my heart. My heroine would be myself, only in discise. I counted the letters 6 letters."
People have alot of the same kind of stuff, like Conney has a bog bowl of stuff that only a dand ful of people can see because you
re working on it. You can't alway s be a princess or queen when ever you feel like it, it sis more like your obligated to vote for Jayme.
The Bell Jar: Chapter 10
Journal Entry
#20
8 November 2007
Chapter 10
Page 130 Paragraph 4
Quote:
"Everybody loved Dodo, although the swelling size of her family was the talk of the neighborhood. The older people around , like my mother, had two children, and the younger, mmore prosperous ones had four, but nobody but Dodo was on the verge of a seventh. Even was considered excessive, but then, everybody said, of course Dodo was Catholic."
Even the people that are loved try to talk to her. They may think that it is different to have so many children, but I don't see the real problem. Dodo may have a growing family, but that doesn't mean that she's a total goof ball and crazy because she just wants to have a family, and if she cnadt show it with her love for her family.They say that it is okay that she is havimg so many kids, they just say that it is because she is Catholic. The Catholic's can't use birthcontrol.
#20
8 November 2007
Chapter 10
Page 130 Paragraph 4
Quote:
"Everybody loved Dodo, although the swelling size of her family was the talk of the neighborhood. The older people around , like my mother, had two children, and the younger, mmore prosperous ones had four, but nobody but Dodo was on the verge of a seventh. Even was considered excessive, but then, everybody said, of course Dodo was Catholic."
Even the people that are loved try to talk to her. They may think that it is different to have so many children, but I don't see the real problem. Dodo may have a growing family, but that doesn't mean that she's a total goof ball and crazy because she just wants to have a family, and if she cnadt show it with her love for her family.They say that it is okay that she is havimg so many kids, they just say that it is because she is Catholic. The Catholic's can't use birthcontrol.
The Bell Jar: Chapter 10
Journal Entry
#19
8 November 2007
Chapter 10
Page 126 Paragraph 3
Quote:
"I hadn't, at the last moment, felt like washing off the two diagonal lines of dried blood that marked my cheeks.They seemed touching, and rather spectacular, and I thought I would carry them around with me, like the relic of a dead lover, till they wore off of their own accord."
Esther likes to have her scars becuase it makes her feel and look tougher. She wants them as metals that you get for winning something like a race. She wants to beat someone up right now so the notes are perfect because she doesn't have to deal with the stress and late nights having to stay awake. Esther wants to feel strong, so she uses a scar she got from a woman heater to show it. She wants a long lasting scar like a tatto so she can feel tough all the time.
#19
8 November 2007
Chapter 10
Page 126 Paragraph 3
Quote:
"I hadn't, at the last moment, felt like washing off the two diagonal lines of dried blood that marked my cheeks.They seemed touching, and rather spectacular, and I thought I would carry them around with me, like the relic of a dead lover, till they wore off of their own accord."
Esther likes to have her scars becuase it makes her feel and look tougher. She wants them as metals that you get for winning something like a race. She wants to beat someone up right now so the notes are perfect because she doesn't have to deal with the stress and late nights having to stay awake. Esther wants to feel strong, so she uses a scar she got from a woman heater to show it. She wants a long lasting scar like a tatto so she can feel tough all the time.
The Bell Jar: Chapter 9
Journal Entry
#18
8 November 2007
Chapter 9
Page 114 Paragraph 1
Quote:
"I fumbled in my pocketbook for the gilt compact with the mascara and the mascara brush and the eyeshadow and the three lipsticks and the side mirror. The face that peered back at me seemed to be peering from the grating bruised and puffy and all the wrong colors. It was a face that needed soap and water and Christian tolerance."
Esther puts on her makeup because she has to look presentable to the world when she faces it. A girl was suposed to look beautiful when people saw her. Nobody really cared how she felt or if she was sad. Girls were supposed to be happy and deal with their own problems hidden away. All Esther wants is for someone to love her for who she is, not for who she dresses up like.
#18
8 November 2007
Chapter 9
Page 114 Paragraph 1
Quote:
"I fumbled in my pocketbook for the gilt compact with the mascara and the mascara brush and the eyeshadow and the three lipsticks and the side mirror. The face that peered back at me seemed to be peering from the grating bruised and puffy and all the wrong colors. It was a face that needed soap and water and Christian tolerance."
Esther puts on her makeup because she has to look presentable to the world when she faces it. A girl was suposed to look beautiful when people saw her. Nobody really cared how she felt or if she was sad. Girls were supposed to be happy and deal with their own problems hidden away. All Esther wants is for someone to love her for who she is, not for who she dresses up like.
The Bell Jar: Chapter 9
Journal Entry
# 17
8 November 2007
Chapter 9
Page 113 Paragraph 11
Quote:
"I buried my face in the pink velvet facade of Jay Cee's loveseat and with immence relief the salt tears and miserable noises that had been prowling around in me all morning burst out into my room."
Esther is having a breakdown. She has bottled up her emotions and frustrations for so long, that she finally can't take it any more. I wouldn't be able to take it any more if I had that many problems. Sometimes you just have to let it all out and that means to cry and after the cry your fine. She just needs some guidance and love. Someone to love her for being Esther, not just a girl. Every girl wants to be loved for being themselves.
# 17
8 November 2007
Chapter 9
Page 113 Paragraph 11
Quote:
"I buried my face in the pink velvet facade of Jay Cee's loveseat and with immence relief the salt tears and miserable noises that had been prowling around in me all morning burst out into my room."
Esther is having a breakdown. She has bottled up her emotions and frustrations for so long, that she finally can't take it any more. I wouldn't be able to take it any more if I had that many problems. Sometimes you just have to let it all out and that means to cry and after the cry your fine. She just needs some guidance and love. Someone to love her for being Esther, not just a girl. Every girl wants to be loved for being themselves.
The Bell Jar: Chapter 8
Journal Entry
#16
8 November 2007
Chapter 8
Page 100 Paragraph 7
Quote:
"A pot belly swelled under the tight white nylon shirt and his cheeks were round an druddy as marzipan fruit. Even his laugh sounded plump. Byddy's eyes met mine. 'It's the eating,' he said. 'They stuff us day and then just make us lie around.'"
Buddy is a porker. He thinks that Esther is descusted with him because he's fat. She partly is, and that's how you know their not supposed to be together. If you really loved someone, they wouldn't care if you were fat or not, they would love you still because you're you. It's not the person on the outside we love, it's the person on the inside.
#16
8 November 2007
Chapter 8
Page 100 Paragraph 7
Quote:
"A pot belly swelled under the tight white nylon shirt and his cheeks were round an druddy as marzipan fruit. Even his laugh sounded plump. Byddy's eyes met mine. 'It's the eating,' he said. 'They stuff us day and then just make us lie around.'"
Buddy is a porker. He thinks that Esther is descusted with him because he's fat. She partly is, and that's how you know their not supposed to be together. If you really loved someone, they wouldn't care if you were fat or not, they would love you still because you're you. It's not the person on the outside we love, it's the person on the inside.
The Bell Jar: Chapter 8
Journal Entry
#15
8 November 2007
Chapter 8
Page 99 Paragraph 1
Quote:
"'TB is like living with a bomb in your lung,' Budy had written to me at college. 'You just lie around very quietly hoping it won't go off.'"
Buddy wants to have something exciting to happen in his life. He wants to have someone to tell all his secrets to, that is not his mother. He wants someone to care about what he says and not care if he did something wrong. Someone that will for give him for his mistakes that he's made. He wants a true love.
#15
8 November 2007
Chapter 8
Page 99 Paragraph 1
Quote:
"'TB is like living with a bomb in your lung,' Budy had written to me at college. 'You just lie around very quietly hoping it won't go off.'"
Buddy wants to have something exciting to happen in his life. He wants to have someone to tell all his secrets to, that is not his mother. He wants someone to care about what he says and not care if he did something wrong. Someone that will for give him for his mistakes that he's made. He wants a true love.
The Bell Jar: Chapter 7
Journal Entry
#14
November 8, 2007
Chapter 7
Page 87 Paragraph 2
Quote:
"I felt so fine by the time we came to the yogurt and strawberry jam that I decided I would let Constantin seduce me."
Esther has just found out that Buddy is not a virgin. Now that she has found out that the reason that she has been a virgin is because she wanted to be pure for her husband, which she says she will never marry. So she wanted to stay pure for Buddy, but then she finds out that he isn't pure so why does she have to be pure when he isn't. She thinks they should be equal when they marry. So she feels like Constantin is an okay guy to have seduce her. I think that she is just too drunk to care right now.
#14
November 8, 2007
Chapter 7
Page 87 Paragraph 2
Quote:
"I felt so fine by the time we came to the yogurt and strawberry jam that I decided I would let Constantin seduce me."
Esther has just found out that Buddy is not a virgin. Now that she has found out that the reason that she has been a virgin is because she wanted to be pure for her husband, which she says she will never marry. So she wanted to stay pure for Buddy, but then she finds out that he isn't pure so why does she have to be pure when he isn't. She thinks they should be equal when they marry. So she feels like Constantin is an okay guy to have seduce her. I think that she is just too drunk to care right now.
The Bell Jar: Chapter 7
Journal Entry
#13
November 8, 2007
Chapter 7
Page 82 Paragraph 1-2
Quote:
"Of course, Constatin was much too short, but in his own way he was handsome with light brown hair and dark blue eyes and a lively, challenging expression...I thought, 'This Constantin won't mind if I'm too tall and don't know enough languages and haven't been to Europe, he'll see through all that stuff to what I really am.'"
Esther is just the same as Buddy. She wants someone to love. Someone that cares about how she truely feels. She feels that Constantin is the right man, and even if he isn't the right man, a man close enough to the right one. She doesn't think that she's good enough for Constatin. She tells her self though that Constatin won't care, and he probably won't. I really don't think that he is right for her. She just needs to realize that Buddy isn't the only man out there that could love her.
#13
November 8, 2007
Chapter 7
Page 82 Paragraph 1-2
Quote:
"Of course, Constatin was much too short, but in his own way he was handsome with light brown hair and dark blue eyes and a lively, challenging expression...I thought, 'This Constantin won't mind if I'm too tall and don't know enough languages and haven't been to Europe, he'll see through all that stuff to what I really am.'"
Esther is just the same as Buddy. She wants someone to love. Someone that cares about how she truely feels. She feels that Constantin is the right man, and even if he isn't the right man, a man close enough to the right one. She doesn't think that she's good enough for Constatin. She tells her self though that Constatin won't care, and he probably won't. I really don't think that he is right for her. She just needs to realize that Buddy isn't the only man out there that could love her.
The Bell Jar: Chapter 6
Journal Entry
#12
November 8, 2007
Chapter 6
Page 79 Paragraph 7
Quote:
"When I first went to her [Mrs. Willard] house for supper she gave me a queer, shrewd, searching look, and I knew she was trying to tell whether I was a virgin or not."
Women are supposed to be virgins when they get married. They want to women because they want the girl to be a flower, and the man to be a bee. The man can go to different girls, but the girl can only have one man. I believe that women should be virgins when they get married, and I also believe that men should be virgins when they get married. Their relationships should be equal, the man nor the women should be more intitled to do something than the other.
#12
November 8, 2007
Chapter 6
Page 79 Paragraph 7
Quote:
"When I first went to her [Mrs. Willard] house for supper she gave me a queer, shrewd, searching look, and I knew she was trying to tell whether I was a virgin or not."
Women are supposed to be virgins when they get married. They want to women because they want the girl to be a flower, and the man to be a bee. The man can go to different girls, but the girl can only have one man. I believe that women should be virgins when they get married, and I also believe that men should be virgins when they get married. Their relationships should be equal, the man nor the women should be more intitled to do something than the other.
The Bell Jar: Chapter 6
Journal Entry
#11
November 8, 2007
Chapter 6
Page 76 Paragraph 5
Quote:
"My mother and my grandmother had started hinting around to me a lot lately about what a fine, clean boy Buddy Willard was, coming from such a fine, clean family, and how everybody at church thought he was a model person, so kind to his parednt and to oder people, as well as so athletic and so handsome and so intelligent."
Every one wants a good man for their daughter, that has money and is courteous to everyone. It makes him look good in society, and it also makes the wife look good too. People always want the perfect man for their daughter, but sometimes the perfect man turns out to not be so perfect after all.
#11
November 8, 2007
Chapter 6
Page 76 Paragraph 5
Quote:
"My mother and my grandmother had started hinting around to me a lot lately about what a fine, clean boy Buddy Willard was, coming from such a fine, clean family, and how everybody at church thought he was a model person, so kind to his parednt and to oder people, as well as so athletic and so handsome and so intelligent."
Every one wants a good man for their daughter, that has money and is courteous to everyone. It makes him look good in society, and it also makes the wife look good too. People always want the perfect man for their daughter, but sometimes the perfect man turns out to not be so perfect after all.
The Bell Jar: Chapter 5
Journal Entry
#10
November 8, 2007
Chapter 5
Page 62 Paragraph 2
Quote:
"It seemed to me Buddy Willard and I were like that Jewish man and that nun, although of course we weren't Jewish or Catholic but Unitarian. We had met together under our own imaginary fig tree, and what we had seen wasn't a bird coming out of an egg but a baby coming out of a woman, and then something awful happened and we went our separate ways."
It's sometimes pretty cool when you have a story that relates to you. I like to have stories relate to me because it means I'm not the only person like me that is going through these certain things around me. It makes me feel like I can deal with what I'm going through, if it's hard. The people are going through the stuff, so I can too. I think that is the way Esther feels too.
#10
November 8, 2007
Chapter 5
Page 62 Paragraph 2
Quote:
"It seemed to me Buddy Willard and I were like that Jewish man and that nun, although of course we weren't Jewish or Catholic but Unitarian. We had met together under our own imaginary fig tree, and what we had seen wasn't a bird coming out of an egg but a baby coming out of a woman, and then something awful happened and we went our separate ways."
It's sometimes pretty cool when you have a story that relates to you. I like to have stories relate to me because it means I'm not the only person like me that is going through these certain things around me. It makes me feel like I can deal with what I'm going through, if it's hard. The people are going through the stuff, so I can too. I think that is the way Esther feels too.
The Bell Jar: Chapter 5
Journal Entry
#9
November 8, 2007
Chapter 5
Page 60 paragraph 1
Quote:
"Later, when I told Doreen about his curious behavior, she said, 'You ninny, he wanted his tip.'"
When you're new to a place you usually don't learn the customs till after you find out about them. Doreen seems to have found out about a custom of giving bellboys tips. The only problem is that she didn't give the boy his tips. This is bad because the boy ends up being sad and mad at Esther and Esther ends up feeling stupid and unknowledgable.
#9
November 8, 2007
Chapter 5
Page 60 paragraph 1
Quote:
"Later, when I told Doreen about his curious behavior, she said, 'You ninny, he wanted his tip.'"
When you're new to a place you usually don't learn the customs till after you find out about them. Doreen seems to have found out about a custom of giving bellboys tips. The only problem is that she didn't give the boy his tips. This is bad because the boy ends up being sad and mad at Esther and Esther ends up feeling stupid and unknowledgable.
The Bell Jar: Chapter 4
Journal Entry
#8
November 8, 2007
Chapter 4
Page Paragraph
Quote:
"'See what the the present is,' I begged. Then I remembered and said, 'I've a present for you as well.'"
I always do this. I'll talk about something with someone and either they'll say something or do something and it reminds me that I have to do something or give someone something. It's like a thing that clicks with our brain and we remember. An example is war veterans, if you do something that reminds them of stuff that happened to them in the war, their taken back to that time and place. It's not a pleasant experience, it's usually quite horrifying.
#8
November 8, 2007
Chapter 4
Page Paragraph
Quote:
"'See what the the present is,' I begged. Then I remembered and said, 'I've a present for you as well.'"
I always do this. I'll talk about something with someone and either they'll say something or do something and it reminds me that I have to do something or give someone something. It's like a thing that clicks with our brain and we remember. An example is war veterans, if you do something that reminds them of stuff that happened to them in the war, their taken back to that time and place. It's not a pleasant experience, it's usually quite horrifying.
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
The Bell Jar: Chapter 4
Journal Entry
#7
November 7, 2007
Chapter 4
Page 44 Paragraph 1
Quote:
"My own mother wasn't much help. My mother had taught shorthand and typing to support us ever since my father died, and secretly she hated it and hated him for dying and leaving no money because he didn't trust life insurance salesmen. She was always on to me to learn shorthand after college, so I'd have a practical skill as well as a college degree. 'Even the apostles were tentmakers,' she'd say. "They had to live, just the way we do.'"
Esther's mother is a typical widow. Her occupation is teaching, and she teaches a simple skill, shorthand. She hate the job that she has, but she takes it without complaint, because that is what women are supposed to do. She is also trying to get Esther to learn shorthand so she can have a "practical" skill. She wants Esther to learn shorthand becuse she knows that Esther is not going to get married, and her degree is not what a spinster should have, she would need to be a teacher.
#7
November 7, 2007
Chapter 4
Page 44 Paragraph 1
Quote:
"My own mother wasn't much help. My mother had taught shorthand and typing to support us ever since my father died, and secretly she hated it and hated him for dying and leaving no money because he didn't trust life insurance salesmen. She was always on to me to learn shorthand after college, so I'd have a practical skill as well as a college degree. 'Even the apostles were tentmakers,' she'd say. "They had to live, just the way we do.'"
Esther's mother is a typical widow. Her occupation is teaching, and she teaches a simple skill, shorthand. She hate the job that she has, but she takes it without complaint, because that is what women are supposed to do. She is also trying to get Esther to learn shorthand so she can have a "practical" skill. She wants Esther to learn shorthand becuse she knows that Esther is not going to get married, and her degree is not what a spinster should have, she would need to be a teacher.
The Bell Jar: Chapter 3
Journal Entry
#6
November 7, 2007
Chapter 3
Page 29 Paragraph 2
Quote:
"The joke was that at my wedding my grandfather would see I had all the caviar I could eat. It was a joke because I never intended to get married, and even if I did, my grandfather couldn't have afforded enough caviar unless he robbed the country club kitchen and carried it off in a suitcase."
Esther right now would be considered a spinster. She has decided that she will not get married. Her job options would be a school teacher, a waitress, or a nurse. She wouldn't have very high social standings because she would not have a husband to get her there. Esther I'm sure will come across the right man someday and will change her mind, because I believe that their is a soul mate out there for everyone.
#6
November 7, 2007
Chapter 3
Page 29 Paragraph 2
Quote:
"The joke was that at my wedding my grandfather would see I had all the caviar I could eat. It was a joke because I never intended to get married, and even if I did, my grandfather couldn't have afforded enough caviar unless he robbed the country club kitchen and carried it off in a suitcase."
Esther right now would be considered a spinster. She has decided that she will not get married. Her job options would be a school teacher, a waitress, or a nurse. She wouldn't have very high social standings because she would not have a husband to get her there. Esther I'm sure will come across the right man someday and will change her mind, because I believe that their is a soul mate out there for everyone.
The Bell Jar: Chapter 3
Journal Entry
#5
November 7, 2007
Chapter 3
Page 27 Paragraph 1
Quote:
"We were always taken out on expense accounts, so I never felt guilty. I made a point of eating so fast I never kept the other people waiting who generally ordered only chef's salad and grapefruit juice because they were trying to reduce. Almost everybody I met in New York was trying to reduce."
The people in the 1950's liked to keep up appearances. People today like to do the same too. The girls will eat salads and small soups so they will stay skinny and people will think they have a little appetite and eat healthy, but that is only what people see when the people are eating out. Esther likes to be herself everywhere she goes. She eats a lot at the Ladies' Day Banquet because she doesn't really care what people think about her, she does it because she wants to do it. Esther eats a lot because she knows that she doesn't have to pay for the food, that is the same thing I would do.
#5
November 7, 2007
Chapter 3
Page 27 Paragraph 1
Quote:
"We were always taken out on expense accounts, so I never felt guilty. I made a point of eating so fast I never kept the other people waiting who generally ordered only chef's salad and grapefruit juice because they were trying to reduce. Almost everybody I met in New York was trying to reduce."
The people in the 1950's liked to keep up appearances. People today like to do the same too. The girls will eat salads and small soups so they will stay skinny and people will think they have a little appetite and eat healthy, but that is only what people see when the people are eating out. Esther likes to be herself everywhere she goes. She eats a lot at the Ladies' Day Banquet because she doesn't really care what people think about her, she does it because she wants to do it. Esther eats a lot because she knows that she doesn't have to pay for the food, that is the same thing I would do.
The Bell Jar: Chapter 2
Journal Entry
#4
November 7, 2007
Chapter 2
Page 20 paragraph 6
Quote:
"The china-white bedside telephone could have connected me up with things, but there it sat, dumb as a death's head. I tried to think of people I'd given my phone number to, so I could make a list of all the possible calls I might be about to receive, but all I could think of was that I'd given my number to Buddy Willard's mother so she could give it to a simultaneous interpreter she knew at the UN."
Esther is thinking about phone calls. In the Catcher in the Rye, Holden was always thinking about calling someone so he could talk to them, but then he would decide that he didn't want to talk to the people after all. Esther is also thinking about the phone, but she is thinking about people calling her, not her calling someone else. She also doesn't want to talk to the person who has her phone number, just like how Holden didn't want to talk to people that he was going to call. Also, when Holden felt like calling people he was sometimes drunk, and Esther is drunk right now too.
#4
November 7, 2007
Chapter 2
Page 20 paragraph 6
Quote:
"The china-white bedside telephone could have connected me up with things, but there it sat, dumb as a death's head. I tried to think of people I'd given my phone number to, so I could make a list of all the possible calls I might be about to receive, but all I could think of was that I'd given my number to Buddy Willard's mother so she could give it to a simultaneous interpreter she knew at the UN."
Esther is thinking about phone calls. In the Catcher in the Rye, Holden was always thinking about calling someone so he could talk to them, but then he would decide that he didn't want to talk to the people after all. Esther is also thinking about the phone, but she is thinking about people calling her, not her calling someone else. She also doesn't want to talk to the person who has her phone number, just like how Holden didn't want to talk to people that he was going to call. Also, when Holden felt like calling people he was sometimes drunk, and Esther is drunk right now too.
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